The holidays, a time spent with family, friends, and various loved ones. Attending a family gathering can be filled with excitement, food, and conversation. However, that excitement could be overshadowed by the tense feeling around the dinner table, when that one uncle in a red hat and the cousin with freshly dyed hair begin to discuss the current president.
That uncomfortable feeling is actually quite common in today’s age. According to The American Psychiatric Association two in five Americans stated “that they had argued with a family member about a controversial issue,” with younger generations being the majority in that report.
So with arguments surrounding politics growing with every gathering, what are some ways to navigate these awkward situations?
Neutrality
When asked a question like, “How do you feel about the current political climate?” Simply saying, “Crazy times, am I right?” can help defuse the complexity of the question. It connects to both sides of the aisle, while not specifically stating a stance.
Diversions
Initiating a distraction can be beneficial. Asking for someone to pass a heavier dish across the table is a way for everyone to pause what they are doing to work together to accomplish the task requested.
Now if the conversation is particularly heated it may call for a different approach. Become injured. This will place the attention almost entirely on the “injured” individual. Be prepared for this. Falling out of a chair, tripping on the way to the kitchen, or hitting ones head on the table after picking something up. This however could be seen as a more extreme action to take. Regardless, no one is bringing up their opinion on abortion rights anymore, so mission accomplished.
Partner In Crime
Finding an ally can help one to feel less alone in these situations. It could be a sibling who gets the same migraine at the mention of tariffs, an aunt who is making inappropriate jokes every chance she gets, or anyone one finds solace in. Even if it is simply a shared look with someone after a crazy statement echos around the dining room.
This doesn’t always have to be a person though. Teacher Ellie Bolender agrees that sometimes a furry friend can help the situation. “I find the dog. I always find the dog. There’s a dog in every house that I’ve ever been in at a holiday event . If things get weird, I always go and find the dog, because dogs can’t be awkward,” said Bolender.
Accept Immaturity
Offer to take a seat at the kids table. There no one is discussing inflation rates, instead they are talking very seriously about their admiration for chicken nuggets, or the newest Disney movie. Enjoy that childhood wonder again. Take advantage of getting to listen to giggles about fart jokes, rather than listening to yelling about gun control.
Dinner And A Show
Finding the silver lining can be beneficial to enjoying the night. Eating a favorite dish, or being distracted by a conversation that is far more pleasant. A senior at NC, Sophia Jones, shared a few of her favorite things at these gatherings. “Hanging out with them and laughing together because we play a lot of games,” said Jones. She explained that she would describe these environments as upbeat and joyful. She enjoys talking with her family members about each others lives. “What we’re doing in school, mostly, what they’re doing in life, how other family members are doing,” said Jones.
Far more pleasant conversation than critiquing a degree someone is pursuing.
Escape
The final step is to leave without stepping on a landmine, in other words, without sparking another conversation. Keep it simple, and lighthearted. Discussing the next time to catch up, even if one doesn’t intend to do so any time soon, can add a hopefulness to the air. The goal has become to secure some leftovers, make it out the door, and safely enter a vehicle. Once that car is started and away from the house, the night is over. Now to head home, microwave some leftovers, and enjoy some peace and quiet.
(Photo by vecteezy.com)
